Each night I close my eyes, I leave behind the concerns of the day. I suspend reality as I submit to the blissful recharge of a good night’s sleep. As thoughts of the day recede, a new subconscious reality emerges. Here, I realign my conscious and subconscious identity by hearing the message of unspoken truth.
This morning, the question I awoke to is “how do we get to a place where our values undermine our humanity?” I arrived here by separation alone. From the moment my self view starts and ends with “I”, my consciousness detaches from my humanity.
A worldview seen through the prism of ‘I” encourages self preservation at the expense of anyone else.
From birth, I was taught to think this way. I loved anyone who fed me, who cleaned me, who comforted me. As I grew older, I learned to distrust other people because they are not inclined to make me comfortable. They want and need what I want and need, but I was taught there is not enough for both of us. Consequently, I cultivate personal alliances of mutual self-service, and work to provide the resources that secure us.
Fortified by the virtues of individual liberty and the pursuit of my own happiness, I am encouraged to take for my self and my alliance all the resources I can. To save and protect my accumulating resources for myself and the few who make me comfortable. I rationalize that I earned my mountain of resources, therefore I deserve the privilege of keeping them for myself.
The great irony here is gluttony breeds emptiness. The more I accumulate, the more detached I become.
And so, sleep brings a promise of relief, only to reveal what I was told is a lie.
I did not create myself. I did not raise myself. I did not teach myself. I do not feed myself. Any fulfillment I experience is inspired by someone else.
The dissonance pervading my life is the virtue of an “I” centered worldview, at odds with the reality of my existence.
I am part of one humanity. I am fed by my connection with humanity. As we prosper, I prosper. And as humanity suffers, I suffer. Up to this moment, I lived a life of serving myself and my alliance at the expense of humanity.
Today, I finally awoke from my nightmare.